I'm making this whole not posting thing a real bad habit aren't I?
I'm planning on working on that. I mean, to be posting right now, I had to dig out my keyboard.
Oh computer issues. Right, so as I've stated previously here, the keyboard on my laptop likes to act up maybe once a day. Well now it's a helluva lot worse. So if I want to really type anything I have to plug in this really old keyboard we have to one of the USB ports. Now second, there is the issue of my power cord, which decided to stop charging my laptop. So now I can only charge it when my mom is home (because she takes her cord and laptop to work), and I'm probably not going to be able to bring my laptop to Texas, which is a COMPLETE bummer, because I'm going to need to import a lot of video footage onto my external hard drive.
You know, this week overall has me just stressed to the point that if I were to actually give in and cry or something stupid and cliche like that, I might not stop. And if that ain't a cliche if I've ever seen one...
First of all, it's the week of Christmas, which I haven't been able to properly celebrate with snow in three years, or even a TREE in two years. Never mind that there isn't as much goodies this year because of buying a house and all, because it's enough Christmas to make me very happy. But school has to go and ruin it. I have had finals all this week. Monday was three exams, one was really hard, and the two were just enough to make me insanely annoyed. Today I had my two hardest exams on the same freaking day.
And of course that is just the begining of issues with these past seven days. I keep getting those exams back, and none of the hard ones that I actually put a bit of effort into amount into anything higher than a C. I hate finals. They don't weigh enough to actually get you anywhere further in the class, making it really hard for me to want to study, but then they're worth just enough to bring down your entire grade. And I've never had an issue with finals before, because they've never been demanding or bitchy or painstakingly saddening before. I want to stab finals a la River Tam.
And then this week brought news about one of my friends just augh. I won't get into it, but it's really upsetting, and for now I've just been acting like I don't know anything and going along with it when what I really want to do is just shove them or something else stupid and wreckless that would get me nowhere. Not that I even can anyways. And other friends being stupid, I know it's really just bad timing on my part that I can't ever get one of my friends when they aren't busy, but you'd think they might try to make the effort to contact me as well. Because goddam it, I've needed that person a lot recently and they've been a no show.
Oh and just some added cake toppers... I had to get a Tdap today because my school was going to kick me out if I wasn't properly immunized and blah blah blah. My dad and I were supposed to go and get my mom a gift today, as well as giving me the opportunity to get my friends some gifts. But that got screwed over today, and tomorrow being the last day I'd see non-Texas trip people until January 7th, it means I can't get sweets to pass out or anything...
Oh and break, may I just mention another reason my history teacher boils my blood (not that I'm sure I've actually mentioned anything before on here, but that needs to be a post on its own once I know for sure I won't ever have to see him again against my will): He is the only teacher I had that gave homework over break, and he gave quite a lot of it. Which only stresses me out because I'm only really getting a week of Break with Texas and.
AUGH.
You know, I was gonna talk about nice things today. Or just ramble on like I usually do. I mean, I have quite a lot to say about Firefly, having just watched all of it and the movie in the last week (actually, I just finished the movie and popped around the net for about 15 minutes before stopping here). And talk about how I now am unsure about whether I want to date or be River Tam, or Kaylee. Because those two are just... Words can't describe it. If only the characters were real people... Actually no, the implications of that are a bit much.
Oh and I'm going to lick Courtney on camera when we're at sea world. If I achieve anything, it must be that. Good thing she doesn't read this, now don't tell please *shhh*
Admittedly, this will probably be my last post until I get back from Texas. Although if I get a power cord for Christmas I will at least keep track of things on the trip for y'all. You deserve it if you've read this far (leave a comment with the word quintessential to prove you've read this far through all of my crap, and get a virtual Christmas cookie - Complete with sprinkles!)
Have a happy Christmas, eat lots of real cookies, and enjoy your time with your family!
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Procrastination at its Finest
So this is a short excerpt from the bit of NaNoWriMo that I did do. I should be doing my homework instead of posting this, but this is of course, procrastination at its finest. Plus I'm still feeling a tad sick, so homework can suck it. Also, please understand this is completely unedited, and thus, completely sucks.
The subway station is warmer, but not nearly warm enough. My eyes dart around. They all probably think I'm on drugs. It's not like it hasn't happened before. I didn't even develop this habit until I was six years old...
The numbers had always been there, so I gave them no notice. I thought everyone saw them, and just didn't talk about it. No one had ever said anything about the numbers, so it was probably an older person thing. Nothing to worry about.
After about a month of begging my mom to "please, please, please, let me get a hamster!" I was finally given my wish. We were going to go to the pet store right after she got home from work. I'd already decided on names. Rockstar for a boy, or Amy for a girl. I practically ran all the way home, key around my neck, pulsing with my steps. Badum, Badum, Badum... The clock moved terribly slow, yet I continued to stare as the second hand continued its circle.
At 5:30 she was home, and I cried out, "C'mon, you took forever. Let's go." She may have laughed, but I took no notice. I was getting my hamster!
I was determined to run straight to the hamsters, but mom directed me to the cages. "He'll want to know a nice home is waiting for him before he comes home with us." I, of course trusted her. It was a modest cage, with a water bottle attached. We also got him a little house, and a hamster wheel. I attempted to run over to the hamsters again, but she reminded me that he needed food. So I begrudgingly stomped along.
Finally, I was free to run to the hamsters. Immediately, I saw my Rockstar. He was honey brown, with the cutest beady eyes, and a little nose sniffing tentatively in the air. My mother found an employee, who explained to me how I needed to take extremely good care of my pet, because animals need love and attention. I promised I would, and was presented with my little Rockstar.
One thing I immediately noticed about Rockstar was that his numbers were lower than any other person or animal I'd seen. 000:00:1:2:03:24. But I didn't think it was too big of a deal. The numbers changed all the time.
For the first couple of days, Rockstar was the only recipient of my love and attention. Then I got distracted, but remembered to feed him. Then one day, I didn't remember to feed him anymore.
His last day alive, I noticed his numbers were almost all zero. 000:00:0:0:07:42. I went to my friend's apartment to play for a bit. When I came back, Rockstar's numbers read 000:00:0:0:00:28. It occurred to me that I hadn't fed him in a while, and gave him some food. It was too late though, because I watched him crawl into the corner as his numbers hit 000:00:0:0:00:01, before disappearing altogether. I prodded him, hopelessly confused, before I realized he had died.
The numbers were counting down to death.
So I just want to know what you think, so feel free to leave a comment with telling me what was good, what needs some work, ect.
Oh, and since it might not be completely obvious, that scene is not the first in the book. It's about seven pages into what I hand wrote. I chose it because it makes enough sense on its own without any background.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
The subway station is warmer, but not nearly warm enough. My eyes dart around. They all probably think I'm on drugs. It's not like it hasn't happened before. I didn't even develop this habit until I was six years old...
The numbers had always been there, so I gave them no notice. I thought everyone saw them, and just didn't talk about it. No one had ever said anything about the numbers, so it was probably an older person thing. Nothing to worry about.
After about a month of begging my mom to "please, please, please, let me get a hamster!" I was finally given my wish. We were going to go to the pet store right after she got home from work. I'd already decided on names. Rockstar for a boy, or Amy for a girl. I practically ran all the way home, key around my neck, pulsing with my steps. Badum, Badum, Badum... The clock moved terribly slow, yet I continued to stare as the second hand continued its circle.
At 5:30 she was home, and I cried out, "C'mon, you took forever. Let's go." She may have laughed, but I took no notice. I was getting my hamster!
I was determined to run straight to the hamsters, but mom directed me to the cages. "He'll want to know a nice home is waiting for him before he comes home with us." I, of course trusted her. It was a modest cage, with a water bottle attached. We also got him a little house, and a hamster wheel. I attempted to run over to the hamsters again, but she reminded me that he needed food. So I begrudgingly stomped along.
Finally, I was free to run to the hamsters. Immediately, I saw my Rockstar. He was honey brown, with the cutest beady eyes, and a little nose sniffing tentatively in the air. My mother found an employee, who explained to me how I needed to take extremely good care of my pet, because animals need love and attention. I promised I would, and was presented with my little Rockstar.
One thing I immediately noticed about Rockstar was that his numbers were lower than any other person or animal I'd seen. 000:00:1:2:03:24. But I didn't think it was too big of a deal. The numbers changed all the time.
For the first couple of days, Rockstar was the only recipient of my love and attention. Then I got distracted, but remembered to feed him. Then one day, I didn't remember to feed him anymore.
His last day alive, I noticed his numbers were almost all zero. 000:00:0:0:07:42. I went to my friend's apartment to play for a bit. When I came back, Rockstar's numbers read 000:00:0:0:00:28. It occurred to me that I hadn't fed him in a while, and gave him some food. It was too late though, because I watched him crawl into the corner as his numbers hit 000:00:0:0:00:01, before disappearing altogether. I prodded him, hopelessly confused, before I realized he had died.
The numbers were counting down to death.
So I just want to know what you think, so feel free to leave a comment with telling me what was good, what needs some work, ect.
Oh, and since it might not be completely obvious, that scene is not the first in the book. It's about seven pages into what I hand wrote. I chose it because it makes enough sense on its own without any background.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Sick
I'm sick right now. And it sucks.
Yesterday I got home from school, let the dog out, let her back in, then proceeded to sleep for two hours until my mom called me asking what I wanted for dinner. Then I just sort of lay there like I was dead or something, with the tv on in the background. After that I ate, went upstairs and did the internet thing for a bit. I felt tired at about ten, so I closed my laptop to go to sleep, only I could not get comfortable. I was tossing and turning until about one in the morning. And then after finally getting some sleep, I woke up at six, thinking that I'd only slept for an hour again, only to find there was snow outside. Snow which means I'm in trouble, because yesterday I was supposed clean up the yard before it snowed. And snow which I cannot properly partake in, because my head feels like it's trying to explode. I wish I could make snow angels today.
It's still snowing. This morning when I woke up, it was simply a couple of inches of snow, with a dark sky. But it started snowing again around eight, and hasn't stopped for the past two hours. It's absolutely gorgeous. I wish it could look like this forever.
I really think I need to take a shower, because we are getting our new washer and dryer delivered today (thank goodness, our washer and dryer that we have right now are ancient, loud, annoying things). However, I would much rather just stay here in bed, staring out the window and watching the snow fall as cars and snow plows drive by.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
Yesterday I got home from school, let the dog out, let her back in, then proceeded to sleep for two hours until my mom called me asking what I wanted for dinner. Then I just sort of lay there like I was dead or something, with the tv on in the background. After that I ate, went upstairs and did the internet thing for a bit. I felt tired at about ten, so I closed my laptop to go to sleep, only I could not get comfortable. I was tossing and turning until about one in the morning. And then after finally getting some sleep, I woke up at six, thinking that I'd only slept for an hour again, only to find there was snow outside. Snow which means I'm in trouble, because yesterday I was supposed clean up the yard before it snowed. And snow which I cannot properly partake in, because my head feels like it's trying to explode. I wish I could make snow angels today.
It's still snowing. This morning when I woke up, it was simply a couple of inches of snow, with a dark sky. But it started snowing again around eight, and hasn't stopped for the past two hours. It's absolutely gorgeous. I wish it could look like this forever.
I really think I need to take a shower, because we are getting our new washer and dryer delivered today (thank goodness, our washer and dryer that we have right now are ancient, loud, annoying things). However, I would much rather just stay here in bed, staring out the window and watching the snow fall as cars and snow plows drive by.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
75! Oh wait... 76.
That last post was my 75th post! I didn't even know. I have to make sure I notice when it's my 100th post. There shall be a Par-TAY!
I'm currently watching the Daily Show from yesterday. I'm all behind on tv and youtube and reading blog posts because of having family over last week. That and I've been reading actual books a lot more lately. Which surprisingly I haven't done in a while. So I'm sort of devouring things again. Which is good for my literacy, and bad for everything else.
I have to finish writing an essay tonight. I'm arguing against Thoreau. I basically twisted the quote I'm arguing to say that Thoreau was against technology in general, by saying that it doesn't at all apply to modern life.
Are you bored? Because my essay is making me bored as well.
The little bit of my NaNoWriMo story that I've written I'm going to post. After that I'd like to keep working on it, and probably post a section on here every few weeks. It's about this girl who can see when people are going to die.
5AG is ending in its current form. I'm so sad. Every time that something I considered to be stable ends, I can't help but think about all the things that have specifically ended for me. Mostly living in certain places. But I will be sad. I found italktosnakes, then 5AG and then the vlogbrothers. So if not for 5AG I wouldn't have a group of people I always knew I could be safe with.
Probably no one would be reading this if not for the vlogbrothers... =/
Let's talk about somethings that are happy!
IT SNOWED TODAY! My first snow in three years =D <3 I hope it snows all night and sticks so that there's at least a centimeter. Because even a centimeter of snow would be AMAZING. My favorite season is here for REAL!
Then because of a jazz band field trip I don't have to go to either of my AP classes. Not that I precisely dislike the classes. But it's nice to get a break from mu harder classes.
I always think it's funny that my two worst core classes were the ones I ended up getting put into AP for xD
I feel like I have too much to say! No more hiatuses again, or I'll spew nonsense out of my mouth for ages.
Off to finish my essay!
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
I'm currently watching the Daily Show from yesterday. I'm all behind on tv and youtube and reading blog posts because of having family over last week. That and I've been reading actual books a lot more lately. Which surprisingly I haven't done in a while. So I'm sort of devouring things again. Which is good for my literacy, and bad for everything else.
I have to finish writing an essay tonight. I'm arguing against Thoreau. I basically twisted the quote I'm arguing to say that Thoreau was against technology in general, by saying that it doesn't at all apply to modern life.
Are you bored? Because my essay is making me bored as well.
The little bit of my NaNoWriMo story that I've written I'm going to post. After that I'd like to keep working on it, and probably post a section on here every few weeks. It's about this girl who can see when people are going to die.
5AG is ending in its current form. I'm so sad. Every time that something I considered to be stable ends, I can't help but think about all the things that have specifically ended for me. Mostly living in certain places. But I will be sad. I found italktosnakes, then 5AG and then the vlogbrothers. So if not for 5AG I wouldn't have a group of people I always knew I could be safe with.
Probably no one would be reading this if not for the vlogbrothers... =/
Let's talk about somethings that are happy!
IT SNOWED TODAY! My first snow in three years =D <3 I hope it snows all night and sticks so that there's at least a centimeter. Because even a centimeter of snow would be AMAZING. My favorite season is here for REAL!
Then because of a jazz band field trip I don't have to go to either of my AP classes. Not that I precisely dislike the classes. But it's nice to get a break from mu harder classes.
I always think it's funny that my two worst core classes were the ones I ended up getting put into AP for xD
I feel like I have too much to say! No more hiatuses again, or I'll spew nonsense out of my mouth for ages.
Off to finish my essay!
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Update on life
I haven't been here in a while.
How are y'all doing?
I'm doing alright. I've read some books (the Hunger Games series, and in the middle of Fallout right now). I've watched some movies (Red, and Harry Potter). Ate some turkey (and ambrosia, and mashed potatoes, and stuffing, and rolls, and PIE). Had some family visit (despite not being American, they visit during Thanksgiving for the food). Gotten a french horn from school (ABSOLUTE JOY!!). And reconnected with some people in a necessary way.
That last bit really was necessary. There is only so much solitary life a person can take (not including friends far away, I'm talking irl), before finally they suffocate. I've just been so busy I never got to see anybody. And then someone else... Well how that got to where it was is extremely complicated, but burying all the issues for two months and the person as well did not work. Things are being fixed I hope. Only time will tell.
And then I officially gave up NaNoWriMo. First I gave up, then was convinced to start again, then changed to the ywp, and finally just completely gave up. I've learned that I cannot manage handwriting around 1800 words a day. And until I get a laptop that doesn't lose the ability to use the delete and space key with enough frequency to get in the way, I will be handwriting.
Also, I must say I am immensely happy that Alan and Luke gave away free digital copies of Erase This for thanksgiving. I'm listening to it on repeat right now.
So that is a basic update. I will be back to blogging properly soon I promise.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
How are y'all doing?
I'm doing alright. I've read some books (the Hunger Games series, and in the middle of Fallout right now). I've watched some movies (Red, and Harry Potter). Ate some turkey (and ambrosia, and mashed potatoes, and stuffing, and rolls, and PIE). Had some family visit (despite not being American, they visit during Thanksgiving for the food). Gotten a french horn from school (ABSOLUTE JOY!!). And reconnected with some people in a necessary way.
That last bit really was necessary. There is only so much solitary life a person can take (not including friends far away, I'm talking irl), before finally they suffocate. I've just been so busy I never got to see anybody. And then someone else... Well how that got to where it was is extremely complicated, but burying all the issues for two months and the person as well did not work. Things are being fixed I hope. Only time will tell.
And then I officially gave up NaNoWriMo. First I gave up, then was convinced to start again, then changed to the ywp, and finally just completely gave up. I've learned that I cannot manage handwriting around 1800 words a day. And until I get a laptop that doesn't lose the ability to use the delete and space key with enough frequency to get in the way, I will be handwriting.
Also, I must say I am immensely happy that Alan and Luke gave away free digital copies of Erase This for thanksgiving. I'm listening to it on repeat right now.
So that is a basic update. I will be back to blogging properly soon I promise.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
My inner voice
Inner Voice: I see you're wearing the sweatpants shorts combo today.
Me: You betcha
I.V.: Is there a point?
Me: Band-O-Rama
I.V.: Okay then. But remember, you are the weirdest person I know
Me: I'm the only person you know.
I.V.: ...
Me: It's okay, I love you. Even though you are me... but then I should love me, although not too much that would be vain... but then what is vain? You know *continues mindless chattering*
I.V.: *facepalm*
That is all
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
Me: You betcha
I.V.: Is there a point?
Me: Band-O-Rama
I.V.: Okay then. But remember, you are the weirdest person I know
Me: I'm the only person you know.
I.V.: ...
Me: It's okay, I love you. Even though you are me... but then I should love me, although not too much that would be vain... but then what is vain? You know *continues mindless chattering*
I.V.: *facepalm*
That is all
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
Sunday, October 24, 2010
PANTS
I am buying PANTS today. You have no idea how much this excites me. I will now list why this excites me.
1) Fall is cold, and pants are warm
2) I only own 5 pairs of pants. The rest of my clothes are summery skirts
3) We are going to old navy. I like old navy.
4) I can look at more skirts as well
5) and maybe some long sleeve shirts
6) tights or leggings?
7) maybe some flats...
8) Ooh, how about a sweatshirt?
Quite obviously, I have not been fall shopping in a while. And though I am not normally the shopping type, I can be a little excited right?? I mean, I haven't been able to get a proper new set of clothes in a while. It's always just a tee-shirt or a skirt or a dress every once in a while. Plus, I realized about a week ago that all of my shirts are either red, green, grey or baggy (ex: show shirts, baseball tshirts, in and out burger shirts...). I personally like blue, but I only have one shirt. Orange and yellow I can do without. And a spot of purple might be nice. I mean, in order to wear purple earlier this week in recognition of those who committed suicide because of gay bullying I had to steal my mom's purple hoodie.
Oh, a couple other reasons I am excited for pants:
9) Old Navy is next to the bookstore.
10) I need to buy the crucible.
11) After I buy the crucible, I can lurk through the YA books.
Oh gosh, and I get to buy a new fleece jacket soon, and then a winter coat and gloves and a hat.
I'm really not normally this excited for clothes. I swear. It's just nice to have new things every once in a while.
Plus, I think the greatest thing about this all for me is that soon there will be SNOW. I haven't seen snow in three years. I'm EXCITED.
Is there anyone else who shares my normal aversion to clothes except in rare cases? What are those rare cases? I want to know.
Now I must go, because I have to print a borders coupon and see if my pants are out of the dryer so I can venture into the world.
Hope your weekend has been relaxing and/or fun!
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
PS: In order to keep track of my NaNoWriMo without turning this blog into a NaNoWriMo blog for a month, I have created this blog: http://50kisinsane.blogspot.com/ I am going to make my first post on there today. And I promise not to utter the word NaNoWriMo on this blog in order to maintain my sanity, and possibly yours.
1) Fall is cold, and pants are warm
2) I only own 5 pairs of pants. The rest of my clothes are summery skirts
3) We are going to old navy. I like old navy.
4) I can look at more skirts as well
5) and maybe some long sleeve shirts
6) tights or leggings?
7) maybe some flats...
8) Ooh, how about a sweatshirt?
Quite obviously, I have not been fall shopping in a while. And though I am not normally the shopping type, I can be a little excited right?? I mean, I haven't been able to get a proper new set of clothes in a while. It's always just a tee-shirt or a skirt or a dress every once in a while. Plus, I realized about a week ago that all of my shirts are either red, green, grey or baggy (ex: show shirts, baseball tshirts, in and out burger shirts...). I personally like blue, but I only have one shirt. Orange and yellow I can do without. And a spot of purple might be nice. I mean, in order to wear purple earlier this week in recognition of those who committed suicide because of gay bullying I had to steal my mom's purple hoodie.
Oh, a couple other reasons I am excited for pants:
9) Old Navy is next to the bookstore.
10) I need to buy the crucible.
11) After I buy the crucible, I can lurk through the YA books.
Oh gosh, and I get to buy a new fleece jacket soon, and then a winter coat and gloves and a hat.
I'm really not normally this excited for clothes. I swear. It's just nice to have new things every once in a while.
Plus, I think the greatest thing about this all for me is that soon there will be SNOW. I haven't seen snow in three years. I'm EXCITED.
Is there anyone else who shares my normal aversion to clothes except in rare cases? What are those rare cases? I want to know.
Now I must go, because I have to print a borders coupon and see if my pants are out of the dryer so I can venture into the world.
Hope your weekend has been relaxing and/or fun!
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
PS: In order to keep track of my NaNoWriMo without turning this blog into a NaNoWriMo blog for a month, I have created this blog: http://50kisinsane.blogspot.com/ I am going to make my first post on there today. And I promise not to utter the word NaNoWriMo on this blog in order to maintain my sanity, and possibly yours.
