I don't have much that is meaningful to say

I get a cheap thrill groping my lamp's hot light bulb in the morning.

Your cow says moo. My cao says moo too.

I really need to pee, but I doubt I'll get out of bed soon.

Take from that what you will xD
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

Do You Remember The Days?

Do you remember the days when stalking was considered the norm, and corporations didn't try to help it along by basically making a stalking book for you?

Do you remember the days when you could simply randomly call someone to have a conversation, rather than needing to text first, and then, instead of having a short terse conversation, you talked about simply everything?

Do you remember the days when life wasn't so busy that you had to plan out your next meet up with a friend nearly three months ahead? (December 3rd, December 3rd >_<)

Do you remember the days when you could just stop by a friend's house, without calling ahead or texting ahead, or anything-ing ahead?

Do you remember the days when people hand wrote letters, and kept the letters they recieved in a box, so they could look through them again when they were older?

Do you remember the days where you could bring cookies to school for your friends and whoever just because you felt like being nice, and didn't have people you didn't know well, or that you completely detested, demanding cookies?

Do you remember the days friendship was easy? The days when friendship wasn't about getting the most attention, or shouting the most interesting thing into a room filled with other people shouting nonesense, but rather about real life interaction, and smiles, and laughter, and experiences, and being able to have a conversation with a good friend without saying a word (verbalized or textualized)?

I don't.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

Conversation

Are you hungry, or sad, or extremely happy, or bouncy, or neutral today my blog readers?
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Mhmm, I see. Well, I baked cookies for about three hours after I got home. There's plenty, would you like one?
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Alright, here you go, I hope it makes your day less hungy, or a bit better, or even awesomer (it's a word, man). *passes cookie* (::)
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You're welcome!
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

Perfectionism

Today, I got up in front of my french class, and I could only speak for 50/60 seconds.

Here's the thing, this happens to other people all the time, and they don't give a shit. But I care far too much. I need to be able to do everything that I want to do well. I nearly cry when I feel like I'm putting in lots of effort for no end.

I have a tendency, when I get one question wrong on a test, to go crazy with myself over why I didn't get it right. Heck, I got a 100% on a test for AP econ, and I still am really worried about the one question that I wasn't sure of my answer, because why wasn't I sure? I should have been sure.

The reason I'm thinking about all of this, is because it is bothering me more and more that there are so many people at my school who want to do something with music, and they just imply that they have everything under control when they haven't even really looked at schools, or audition materials. I've built this all up in my head to such a huge level since sixth grade, and then I come here and it's just some commonplace thing. You like music, why not major in music ed? Never mind that you haven't been focused on how to get there for the past five or six years while I've been concerned and worried about every note that I haven't been able to play to my perceived level of perfect.

I feel like I'm letting myself and teachers and my parents down more and more everyday, because I can't do everything. I'm not going to be able to keep the straight A's I have right now. I'm going to do worse in English, and in French, and my grade will never stay up. I'll always be concerned with the fact that I just don't get what's going on, when I've always been the person who's supposed to know everything.

AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NATHAN, STOP CALLING ME A GENIUS AND ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR HOMEWORK. I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWERS AND I DON'T CARE.

Do your own damn homework.

And to my band director, stop looking at me like I'm crazy for taking five AP classes this year. I'm not crazy. I just don't know any other way to be great anymore.

I really need some hot chocolate.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

Pauline

I'd like to welcome you to my friend Pauline's poetry. It is not precisely poetry because the meaning isn't hidden, and there isn't any set way that it should go (syllables, rhyming, ect). I think technically poetry has to have one of these things going on, but here is one of the most beautiful things I've read in a while:

My goal,
ultimately,
is to do something
... great--
at least,
great in
my own mind.
But before I
achieve
my goals,
let me be
ordinary.
Let me
lay in my bed
and cry
over boys
and bad grades
and the future.
Let me worry,
let me fail,
let me fall.
Let me sit on my couch,
eat my
macaroni.
Let me
go out with friends
on Friday nights
and stay home and read
on Saturday nights.
Let me sing,
let me play,
let me portray.
Let me be
a teenager.
Let me believe
and question.
Then let me
abandon my goal
and, instead,
find
happiness.

Anyways, I'm in the process of convincing her to make a blogger, so if* she does there will be a link HERE, so that you may join me in reading some more of her wonderfulness.

And uh, I guess I wrote some poetry earlier today that I was going to post, but I think mine rather pales in comparison, so if you would like to read some poetry that isn't as good, and is far more depressing than uplifting you may click here.

I will try to post tomorrow!
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

*Right before I am about to post this, she says she is working on it**, so there should be a link soonish! =)
**Link is now there... obviously. However she has yet to post.