Augh!

I'm packing up at the moment... Sort of.

By packing up at the moment, I mean multitasking with organizing my closet for pack out on Tuesday. And by multitasking, I mean there is a large amount of stuff leaking out of my closet, and of my two huge bags, there is just a little space taken up by a stack of my pants. I still have to figure out shirts, and books.

Books are the worst part of this. Our stuff isn't going to get to Chicago until a month after we leave, so I have to figure out what books to read. I have a stack of books I still need to read, and then there's Harry Potter, which my mom said she would try reading (FINALLY!), and that's seven books. And knowing my mother in a nearly empty house with only the TV, she will probably make it through quite a few, so I have no idea how many to bring. Then I was thinking of bringing The Host as well as my stack, because I haven't reread that in a while. Of course, the stack of books I have yet to read is pretty huge:

• Anthem by Ayn Rand
• Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
• Nightlight by The Harvard Lampoon
• Take Me There by Susane Colasanti
• Sea Change by Aimee Friedman
• Emma by Jane Austen
• Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
• Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
• First Aid by Janet Davey

So I have to figure out which of those I'm taking

I also have to figure out stuffed animals (it may not seem important to you, but this is monumental for me. My teddy bear Michael is coming, no question, but then I have several webkinz (I don't go online, just liked the animals) of sentimental value that I'm not sure if I should bring. They are a dog, an owl (I named him Pig hehe), an elephant (Elvendork, notice my Harry Potter theme?), and a racoon.

And I need to consolidate the music I think I will need into one binder to take with me, and bring my mouthpieces and servicing things because I don't want to loose them. And I need to figure out if my baby blanket will fit, what DVDs to bring.

I really should be packing, shouldn't I?
-Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

Waiting

A lot of the time, I wait for things to happen instead of making it happen.

I didn't ever realize that this was a problem until now. But now I find myself with a whole summer of time without anyone to hang out with who isn't at least an hour of travel away. I spend most of my free moments constantly refreshing the same things over and over again. I'm a broken record.

I usually procrastinate on things just to keep doing the things that have made me bored. I didn't touch my final English project until 10:00 the night before it was due. In the meantime, I had been sitting there refreshing my tabs. The most proactive thing I've done recently was start a blog with Courtney, and that wasn't even that proactive, because I was trying to get four of my friends to do it. But since only her and Ashley responded, and Ashley was lethargic at best, I decided to just do the blog with Courtney.

After today, I have to go through my stuff and pack my suitcase and bag. Then I have to sort through my closet so that it's easily movable, and under my bed as well. Oh, and I have to go through my bookshelf and figure out how many books is too many to bring with me >_<

But today I am going to the beach, it's going to be uber awesome, cuz I'm bringing my sand toys =) hehe. We're doing a picnic, and just gonna be stupid. Which I'm gonna need, since I will be busy until Friday with packing and moving.

I'm going to go finish packing. Ttyl!
-Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

The clock is ticking faster

I hate that in no more than two minutes, you can brighten my entire day

I hate that you make me smile for so long after we talk

I hate that your status says single

I hate that there’s no chance

I hate that I’m leaving

I hate it all.

I've been having a crappy two or three weeks, but I'm not sure that it's especially seeped through here. My near brother is gone, band is over, I'm moving in three weeks, I have a D in two classes (one minus, one plus), and one of my best friends seems to have decided that I'm worthless, or something of the sort. So yeah, crappy few weeks.

Oh, and then there's him, who makes me smile, who randomly seems to show up and brighten my day. Who I have almost no clue about, other than that his perscription is high enough that I can see out of his glasses, he laughs like a little girl, and he seems to have made me his personal vendetta for tickling him... Ok, so I know a bit more than nothing. But he's just there, and I want to do something, but I can't, because there just isn't enough time. There isn't enough time for anything.

The problem with time, is that if you stop it, then nothing happens, but if you let it go on, you run out of time.

Time is running out. And I can't do anything.
-Jess, the nerdfighting band geek

PS: Did you see house???? Oh boy!

Tomorrow is gonna rock

So my dad, he can be an asshole, but he can also be freaking awesome. He's letting me off the hook for my F (now a slightly respectable D) in English as long as I show him all of the late work I have left to turn in, which is awesome, because I need to write one essay, and I finally looked at the questions I have to do for The War Between The Classes, and it is ridiculously easy, so I can do each of those by ten, then email everything to my dad. And, because I'm off the hook, I get to have one on one time with Corey after school, before the concert. And what's even better is that it's a Thursday, and HI has furlough Fridays, so I don't have to do my homework for any of the time we're hanging out, and thusly, we can hang around target or the NEX or KMart instead of at starbucks (cuz me and Corey sitting around in a starbucks, while perfectly fine for when I'm with Ashley, is just not a good idea if you want to have fun).

Tomorrow is my concert, uber worried I will suck, but also getting that pre-concert jitter of anticipation. I like preforming, and I like playing in a group (alone, not so much), so a concert is just my cuppa tea. Plus, I get to play the following on tuba: my low brass ensemble (which will suck, but can't do anything now really...), an arrangement of four of the shaker songs, beauty and the beast, and first suite in E-flat for military band. And I get to play the following for horn: amazing grace, philip bliss, and shenandoah.

First suite is awesome, because low brass start, and get to play the melody in the first movement, and for some reason, I love that melody (no matter how simplistic it is). I like beauty and the beast because it's just hard enough that I'll pull out all the stops when we preform. And this is the third time I've played any shaker songs, so it's a nice tradition to keep. In amazing grace, I get the melody, but not a crazy amount of it, so it's comfortable. In Philip Bliss I have a solo with one of the trumpets, that I worked really hard on when I first got it (fingers crossed that I'll hit all the notes). And shenandoah is not my favorite, and is somewhat scary because it's being conducted by one of the seniors, but I share the melody with the saxes, when I do have it, so when I hit the wrong note, I know instantly.

Basically, I should be getting back to my English if I want tomorrow to be as amazing as it should be.

Laters,
Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek (copyright pending)

PS: I feel I should make a note that I am not playing all of the things I play on tuba, and then playing all the things I play on horn, they will be in whatever order they end up in. This is, of course, and effort to get me more exercise by making me move seats and bring my stand with me very frequently, and and effort to make sure that my lips do not work by the end of the night.

All These Things That I've Done

Right now, I need to write one and a half essays, answer two (and another due next week) sets of questions, and makeup a test for English. I will probably finish English and one or two sets of questions tonight. After school I was going to retake the test, but my teacher had to go to a meeting. And of course, if I am to trust my friend at least, she's not going to be at school for the rest of the week.

In the meantime, I am grounded. Grounded doesn't particularly mean much, because tonight I'm going to go to band practice (all I lost was hang out time with Ashley after school). Tomorrow I'm gonna still be able to use the TV (especially since I plan on showing my dad everything I'm turning in. Thursday I will still have my concert. Friday will be whatever it turns out to be. Saturday night I will be at the band banquet, and see Corey for the last time... And Sunday I will probably have a phone conversation late at night.

I should actually be working on my English right now (I was sent up to my room and away from the tv to do it), but I'm feeling lazy. Much more likely, I will do my French tonight, and finish the essay I'm working on. Then tomorrow I will bring my laptop to school for the third time this week and write another essay, and work on the questions.

At tonight's rehearsal, I should be seeing my old lesson instructor Mr. Willis again, which is great because I don't know how to tune the Bb part of the French Horn that I've been using in class. I'm so nervous for this concert. Whenever we're in class, I screw up on horn. Usually it's because I hit the wrong note (although one time it was pretty awesome, because I was like a fifth above of these notes that were already really high without meaning to be). It doesn't help that this kid who is basically our trombone god asked if he could use my horn because he has his own mouthpiece, and I said sure, and he proceeded to be incredibly kick ass on it despite NEVER playing before =( Speaking of trombone god: our ensemble piece for the low brass is gonna suck, and I'm simply embarrassed. Oh, and then, I got completely lost in beauty and the beast today, because we rarely play it, and then Ashton distracted me by asking where we were during intermezzo of First Suite and I got completely lost. This is not going to end well.

Ok, so I'm going to just do my French homework now, so that I can focus entirely on English when I get back from band practice... or slack off and feel really bad about myself tomorrow as well. *sigh*

See you sometime!
-Jess the Nerdfighting Bandgeek

The clock is ticking

I have two weeks left of school. Two weeks. Two, very much too short to only be two weeks, weeks. I still need to write three and a half essays (two and a half are very late), two quote responses, one very exceedingly long and potentially destabilizing autobiography, and answer two sets of questions that have no impact on my life at all for English. I must write several different listening journals for band, as well as forging some practice journals. I have to continue to pretend that I feel like I'm learning anything in French as I continue my education online by talking to my French speaking friends. I will do my math work, if only to be bored or annoyed with the outcome. I will feel great relief at the end of history. And of course, I'm going to do my chemistry work, hopelessly confused and lost and idiotic feeling, because that's what you do when you get one of the worst chemistry teachers in existence. For the next two weeks of school, I will go through the motions of caring, because it's what's expected of me.

In one week, one of my best friends will be moving. One week. One, totally fast and insane, week. He's like my brother, and he's been dating my uber best friend for almost two years now. We will both be a wreck without him, just like we were a wreck without him last summer when he was in Montana, she was in Maine, and I was in Illinois. I love him with all of my heart. He's a terribly good person, and these last weeks at school will be crazy without him. I think she and I will both be crying a lot, or trying to hide it. It will end, as always, with a phone call at about 10:30 at night where she and I cry about every little thing that's bothering us, but ignore the big thing that is causing us immense pain. I'm not looking forward to after this week.

In four weeks I will be leaving Hawaii. Four weeks. Four weeks that I will only speed up as I try to slow it down. I don't really want to discuss these four weeks.

Time is one of the worst concepts to try and understand. Each second is structured. Each minute is structured. Each hour is structured. Each day is structured. Each week is structured. Each month is structured. But each second is relative. Each minute is relative. Each hour is relative. Each day is relative. Each week is relative. Each month is relative.

Time Sucks
-Jess the Nerdfighting Band Geek

PS: I must give an immense amount of thanks to my friend Niki who made the banner and changed up the layout for me. Niki, tu fais mon monde!

Oh hey there... Sorry I haven't posted lately!

I've sorta hit the realization that in some things, I just need to give up.

Like US history for example. The AP exam is Friday. And I was going to study my butt off today, but I started to, and realized it was pointless, I was over history at this point, and I probably won't get much else in my head. So I probably should be studying right now, but I'm not, because I just am not.

In other ways though, I really shouldn't give up.

I've been putting off something all week. I tell my friends to make them make me do said thing, and it ends with me crying. Today, I would have done it at recess, but I lost my nerve. And I just keep talking myself out of it because of some small little thing. Not this time. I'm doing it tomorrow morning. End. Of. Story. Hopefully...

I have a concert next week, that I'm rather excited/nervous for. I haven't practiced nearly enough, but it's my official debut as a horn player, and possibly my last high school performance as a principal tuba player. Then the weekend after that, is the band banquet. I don't think I'm getting anything that is student voted for, but I can't help but hope I get one of the teacher decided things, because I actually have worked my butt off this year.

Other news:
My friend's baby brother was born today! And she got named godmother. He's absolutely adorable, and I'm thinking of visiting this weekend since her mom invited me. I've never seen a newborn in real life. I always get to meet them when they hit the terrible two's -_-

I'm reading though Calvin and Hobbes online, and it's just wonderful. It makes me smile =)

And that's about it for my other news.

So finally, I'm doing my persuasive speech tomorrow for English on why dogs are better than cats. So I figure you should get to see my visuals (which I was going to just copy and paste, but I can't make it work, so you'll just have to look at the links):
Dogs
http://ginalazenby.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/dogs024.jpg
http://www.mooseyscountrygarden.com/garden-journal-07/dog-smiling.jpg
Cats
http://www.cutepicturesofcats.com/uglycatpictures/ugly_cats_pics/Scary_cat_Bublik.jpg
http://www.cutepicturesofcats.com/uglycatpictures/ugly_cat_pictures-01.htm

Gonna go put those pics in a ppt, and maybe do some chem before I go ZZZzzzZZZ.

See ya round!
-Jess the Nerdfighting Band Geek

PS: I almost forgot, but charlieissocoollike on youtube posted a video for a song called Chemical Love, that is just hilarious. So link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAigCKiqYvw