Sexism

Oh gosh, I really wish I hadn't been made to be thinking about this.

It all was really quite simple. I'm planing on asking someone out tomorrow (I'm nervous, but if it doesn't pan out, it's no big deal), so I asked my ex who is my friend now (because we realized it worked better that way), and who has been around without getting around if you know what I mean. So uh... right. So I asked him yesterday if he had ever asked someone out without really knowing them. He said yeah, he knew someone for 30 minutes then asked them out. Then he was asking me why I asked "Did some guy you barely know ask you out?" "No" and there were one or two more questions until I was like "I'm thinking of asking out someone I only sort of know". And his response was great shock to me. His face got harder, and he said with an almost slightly angry tone "I can't tolerate being asked out by girls. I only let it happen once with Britney, because I'd asked her out first. Girls shouldn't ask guys out, it's not right." And then he freaking left it at that.

There is a reason he's my ex. The way I sorta felt like his object that he forgot about was a major reason. But never before had he been so blatantly sexist. And it makes me wonder if all guys think this, or if it's just him being an asshole. Now, I know most guys wouldn't be so blunt about it, but do a lot of them feel so emasculated by being asked out by a girl, or see girls as sex, or perhaps see them as belonging in the kitchen? It took a few minutes for what he said to sink in, but once it had, I felt like yelling at him. It's the 21st century, is it really so crazy to be asked out by a girl?

I know there will always be sexism, and racism, and classism, and whatever-else-ism, but to hear it coming from somewhere I never expected was jarring.

I hope none of my daughters ever feel like they are worth less than a man. It's a future I can really hope for.

Something less serious later this week!
~Jess the Nerdfighting Band Geek

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Soooooooo..... Hi! Lol.

Righto, so I am editing a video I made yesterday, and should be posting it later tonight, and I drew this awesome picture (pfft, not really =P) and I wrote on it "Thanks to cupid... My heart was stabbed and I lost free will" Yaaaaaay for love!

In actuality, since I last posted I went out with my ex for about 4 days, because I was talked into it, before he dumped me for another girl, which is totally lame... But now I'm past that, and my best guy friend is going to talk to someone for me. So I'll tell you if that goes well.

I've finally caught up on all of my late work except for some chemistry bookwork and then an essay analyzing my AR book, and my 3/4 page quote response on said book. I should mention that double spacing is my frieeeeend? But yeah, basically today after school it was raining, and I didn't want to walk home in that, so I just walked to target, ate me some nummy lunch, then did all of the work I had with me. So now I'm nearly caught up =)

So have you ever listened to lumos flies, then listened to fireflies? I just can't stand fireflies after listening to lumos flies, because the beat is slightly faster, and sounds happier.

Ok, I'm gonna go, because I just want all of this late work to be DONE, and I'm gonna finish editing my video.
~Jess the Nerdfighting Band Geek.
PS: I forgot, I got a haircut yesterday, and got about 25 compliments or more on it today, so that just completely made my day awesome.

Bad week

Hey, are, are you doing ok?
You look kinda sad.
Don't worry, it'll all be OK, I promise *hug*
Just let all the sadness drain away.
I'll be here when you need me.
I promise.

-Jess the Nerdfighting Band Geek

Speed of Sound update.

I'm so bad at this "maintaining a blog thing" xD but let's just walk past my absence instead of focusing on how I should blog more blah blah blah {insert charlie brown adult trombone with a plunger sound}.

Anywhoooooo

I'm in the midsts of talking to my band director about what I should be doing if I'm really serious about being a music education major, because last Tuesday I was telling her how a lot of the schools I'd seen had required piano lessons. Basically I'm between being a French teacher (lots of pros and cons there), a math teacher (major pro: really good at it and enjoy it, major con: it's gonna get harder, and I can't necessarily teach it), and a band director (which I am learning has a lot of cons, but it's been my #1 priority for so long that I'm not sure I can work against it).

I have been putting off writing fanfiction stuff (well I've done some, but nothing major), and courtney still does not have her goodbye dvd. I am such a bad person I swear...

Ah what else????

I'm taking the HSA's right now, which I hate, but it gives me more time to hang out with my friend Aaron, so it's all good. I only have the science stuff. I'm reading Harry Potter from start to finish again. I just got finished with book 4 and have started OotP. I'm also watching fringe from start to finish, currently on episode 4. My AP US test approaches like a speeding bullet (May 7th *sigh*) and I am just not nearly as prepared as I should be.

And finally, I'm back together with my ex (one of the ones I'm friends with), with three understandings. The best of these understandings are that it's going to end when I move and we're back to being friends, and then the other is that he's not allowed to play with my hair during class because that distracts the hell out of me. However, I'm not sure that last one will last, because I swear he has ADD... lol.

Oh and in exchange for me being gone the past couple of weeks I'm going to post what I have written of the That 70s Show/House crossover.

Have a awesometastical day!
~Jess the Nerdfighting Band Geek

My crossover:
I have been Frankie for 27 years now.

Sometimes it’s just so hard to keep within boundaries you make for yourself. I made a lot of boundaries when I was Donna. And I can say that I broke almost every single one. So I made a permanent escape and boundary. I left my apartment in Point Place in the dead of night, leaving Eric alone in that bed, and never came back. Went to New Jersey, changed my name, and started a new life. Permanently.

I met Taylor at a concert. Back when I was more Donna like, and music was still a huge part of my life. Before the blog… I wasn’t a DJ or anything anymore, but I was crazy obsessed with a lot of bands. I’m getting off topic though.

I can’t exactly say why I made my blog. It might have been utter boredom. Perhaps it was a ploy for attention. Or maybe a plea for a support system, which was one of the many things I lost when I left Point Place. But I made it. And now I find myself with a support system of about a hundred people. That should really be all anyone ever needs, shouldn’t it?

But then I can’t explain why I feel so empty.

* * *

Taylor can annoy the crap out of me sometimes.

Overall, I love Taylor. He’s amazing in a lot of ways. But in some ways, he just is annoying. Maybe I blog too much. Maybe I can’t make decisions for myself anymore. I know this already. Get off my back and let me be!

And then the neighbor comes and asks Taylor if we know what time it is. Then he looks at me, and calls the police. Calls the police?

I look in the mirror and see the bruises forming on my face. They hadn’t been there before. Taylor had never laid a hand on me. Not that way. What the hell is going on?

* * *

I have never been in a hospital before.

At least not for myself. I’d gone to the hospital for Kelso plenty of times… The worst was the time he came back from the police academy for the last time. He was almost a cop, with a month left, and he said he was going to go off weed once he was in the police. So we took a heavy hit, and it all ended with Kelso falling off the roof.

Being at the hospital is strange. An IV, terrible food, a catheter, and so much more. I blog about it all. Taylor couldn’t be more annoyed.

And that's all I've got on that so far. But I was looking through my stuff and I'm also writing two stories, one that I have no plot for other than it involves starbucks, two teenagers, and new york. The other is about a post nuclear war over oil and water and food girl who wants to see rain, and her quest to see it. So maybe I'll post those later one when I need to make another apology lol.