75! Oh wait... 76.

That last post was my 75th post! I didn't even know. I have to make sure I notice when it's my 100th post. There shall be a Par-TAY!

I'm currently watching the Daily Show from yesterday. I'm all behind on tv and youtube and reading blog posts because of having family over last week. That and I've been reading actual books a lot more lately. Which surprisingly I haven't done in a while. So I'm sort of devouring things again. Which is good for my literacy, and bad for everything else.

I have to finish writing an essay tonight. I'm arguing against Thoreau. I basically twisted the quote I'm arguing to say that Thoreau was against technology in general, by saying that it doesn't at all apply to modern life.

Are you bored? Because my essay is making me bored as well.

The little bit of my NaNoWriMo story that I've written I'm going to post. After that I'd like to keep working on it, and probably post a section on here every few weeks. It's about this girl who can see when people are going to die.

5AG is ending in its current form. I'm so sad. Every time that something I considered to be stable ends, I can't help but think about all the things that have specifically ended for me. Mostly living in certain places. But I will be sad. I found italktosnakes, then 5AG and then the vlogbrothers. So if not for 5AG I wouldn't have a group of people I always knew I could be safe with.

Probably no one would be reading this if not for the vlogbrothers... =/

Let's talk about somethings that are happy!

IT SNOWED TODAY! My first snow in three years =D <3 I hope it snows all night and sticks so that there's at least a centimeter. Because even a centimeter of snow would be AMAZING. My favorite season is here for REAL!

Then because of a jazz band field trip I don't have to go to either of my AP classes. Not that I precisely dislike the classes. But it's nice to get a break from mu harder classes.

I always think it's funny that my two worst core classes were the ones I ended up getting put into AP for xD

I feel like I have too much to say! No more hiatuses again, or I'll spew nonsense out of my mouth for ages.

Off to finish my essay!
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

Update on life

I haven't been here in a while.

How are y'all doing?

I'm doing alright. I've read some books (the Hunger Games series, and in the middle of Fallout right now). I've watched some movies (Red, and Harry Potter). Ate some turkey (and ambrosia, and mashed potatoes, and stuffing, and rolls, and PIE). Had some family visit (despite not being American, they visit during Thanksgiving for the food). Gotten a french horn from school (ABSOLUTE JOY!!). And reconnected with some people in a necessary way.

That last bit really was necessary. There is only so much solitary life a person can take (not including friends far away, I'm talking irl), before finally they suffocate. I've just been so busy I never got to see anybody. And then someone else... Well how that got to where it was is extremely complicated, but burying all the issues for two months and the person as well did not work. Things are being fixed I hope. Only time will tell.

And then I officially gave up NaNoWriMo. First I gave up, then was convinced to start again, then changed to the ywp, and finally just completely gave up. I've learned that I cannot manage handwriting around 1800 words a day. And until I get a laptop that doesn't lose the ability to use the delete and space key with enough frequency to get in the way, I will be handwriting.

Also, I must say I am immensely happy that Alan and Luke gave away free digital copies of Erase This for thanksgiving. I'm listening to it on repeat right now.

So that is a basic update. I will be back to blogging properly soon I promise.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

My inner voice

Inner Voice: I see you're wearing the sweatpants shorts combo today.
Me: You betcha
I.V.: Is there a point?
Me: Band-O-Rama
I.V.: Okay then. But remember, you are the weirdest person I know
Me: I'm the only person you know.
I.V.: ...
Me: It's okay, I love you. Even though you are me... but then I should love me, although not too much that would be vain... but then what is vain? You know *continues mindless chattering*
I.V.: *facepalm*

That is all
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

PANTS

I am buying PANTS today. You have no idea how much this excites me. I will now list why this excites me.

1) Fall is cold, and pants are warm
2) I only own 5 pairs of pants. The rest of my clothes are summery skirts
3) We are going to old navy. I like old navy.
4) I can look at more skirts as well
5) and maybe some long sleeve shirts
6) tights or leggings?
7) maybe some flats...
8) Ooh, how about a sweatshirt?

Quite obviously, I have not been fall shopping in a while. And though I am not normally the shopping type, I can be a little excited right?? I mean, I haven't been able to get a proper new set of clothes in a while. It's always just a tee-shirt or a skirt or a dress every once in a while. Plus, I realized about a week ago that all of my shirts are either red, green, grey or baggy (ex: show shirts, baseball tshirts, in and out burger shirts...). I personally like blue, but I only have one shirt. Orange and yellow I can do without. And a spot of purple might be nice. I mean, in order to wear purple earlier this week in recognition of those who committed suicide because of gay bullying I had to steal my mom's purple hoodie.

Oh, a couple other reasons I am excited for pants:

9) Old Navy is next to the bookstore.
10) I need to buy the crucible.
11) After I buy the crucible, I can lurk through the YA books.

Oh gosh, and I get to buy a new fleece jacket soon, and then a winter coat and gloves and a hat.

I'm really not normally this excited for clothes. I swear. It's just nice to have new things every once in a while.

Plus, I think the greatest thing about this all for me is that soon there will be SNOW. I haven't seen snow in three years. I'm EXCITED.

Is there anyone else who shares my normal aversion to clothes except in rare cases? What are those rare cases? I want to know.

Now I must go, because I have to print a borders coupon and see if my pants are out of the dryer so I can venture into the world.

Hope your weekend has been relaxing and/or fun!
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

PS: In order to keep track of my NaNoWriMo without turning this blog into a NaNoWriMo blog for a month, I have created this blog: http://50kisinsane.blogspot.com/ I am going to make my first post on there today. And I promise not to utter the word NaNoWriMo on this blog in order to maintain my sanity, and possibly yours.

School, NaNoWriMo, and BAND =)

Ah, okay, I'm totally falling behind in school work, but I love you all who read this, because you all have special armbands, so yeah.

Wow. I have no idea what THAT was.

Right, so I have an audition this Friday, I have definitely not practiced nearly enough for that. Then my math homework has been taking me a lot of time, because I'm playing catch up since this school pairs Alg 2 and Trig and AUGH. And English makes me write essays, and NaNoWriMo...

I've narrowed NaNoWriMo down to the two stories I've already been working on. I think I'm leaning towards the story I wrote in middle school. But you are not holding me to that whatsoever. I will know for sure after this weekend, because I am having a sticky note day this weekend maybe with my friend Niki maybe not with her. I should ask her about that again, I slack off too much xD

Oh, and speaking of NaNoWriMo, Jess (not me Jess) commented on my post yesterday about a project she is doing that ties into NaNoWriMo, so if you are going to be giving up your November this year as well, you should go to this link: http://nanonerdfighters.blogspot.com/

Right so I'm going to be going, because I have a lot of other online procrastination things to do before dinner. Cuz after dinner I will be a good little girl and do my homework... maybe xD
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

PS: My band won first place in our division on Sunday, and it was awesome, even if I didn't get home to my bed until 11 PM that night.
PPS: I just remembered, one of our drum majors gave us a shout out that began "You are all beautiful like trees" Oh gosh, I wish I'd been allowed to laugh.

NaNoWriMo

Is anyone doing NaNoWriMo this year?

I always want to do NaNoWriMo, but the first year I knew about it I was in 7th grade, and knew there was no realistic way for me to pull it off, especially since we were in the middle of a move that month, and lived in a hotel for half of the month. A year later I was a 13 year old ninth grader, in the wake of my first marching season, and was more focused on fanfiction. It wasn't right for me then. Last year, I was very excited to do it with almost no plot to go on, but then I got grounded because I'd gotten some bad grades, and lost my laptop/internet until December. So now we're to this year.

I have a few different stories I've been considering working on. First is a series I originally wrote a large chunk of in middle school, that I think has marinaded (to use the words of Maureen Johnson's editor) long enough for me to be able to work on fixing a lot of its original problems in a complete redraft. Then I have another story I was working on towards the end of this summer that I stopped working on because of school and it only having an end goal, but no plot for in between whatsoever.

I also have two very sketchy plot outlines in my head. One about a girl growing up in sort of post apocalyptic world a few centuries from our own who wants to see rain. And another about a girl's life once she has returned to her family after being kidnapped ten years before.

All of these issues have their own strengths and issues. The series is one that I actually plotted out in a more structured way than anything else I'm considering, but that also means figuring out what to cut for plot pace. My summer story has a lack of plot that I've already mentioned, but I have a very clear picture of the characters. The first plot outline I've been thinking about for half a year, so there are a lot of little details I already know, but then I have no plot to go with it right now. The final plot is one that I came up with a couple of weeks ago when I realized it was almost NaNoWriMo, so there aren't any details, and the storyline also comes with a lot of research that I'm not sure I can do in 2 weeks, but then right now it could go anywhere.

I have no idea which of these stories I will do. If any considering that I'm not sure how busy I will be in November, and this all makes me really nervous. But then I know that sitting around like this will mean me never writing anything, which is counter productive,but I know myself, and I am lazy.

In other news, this has to be the craziest week I've had in a long time, and because of all the crazy going on, I havent gotten a proper night of sleep all week I would have finally caught up on some sleep today if it hadn't been decided that I was going to drive us to the commissary and be woken up far too early for someone who hasn't been sleeping and RAWR! Things just aren't going the way they should be, and I find myself far too stressed out. I just want one night where I can get to bed at nine and wake up at noon *sigh*

Yours,
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

Silence

Some people have this intense need to fill every moment with chatter. Sometimes I am this person. Most of the time, however, I am not.

Silence is something deeply embedded in me. My mother is Finnish, and says in childhood you're told you shouldn't speak unless you have something to say. I used to read almost constantly, and reveled in days spent in bed or in an armchair reading a new book, which easily leads to silence (at least when I was a young child it did, because iTunes did not exist to be beckoned for every waking moment).

In a restaurant, my family is the quiet group sitting and enjoying their food. For the French, food is culture, which includes conversation, and that's great for them. But a lot of the time when I sit down for dinner, it's nice to have a bit of silence now and then to truly enjoy your food. And the silence is never awkward. It's simply nice.

Ashley was/is one of my best friends for a reason. While I can't say I knew everything about her, I sure knew a lot about her. And eventually we fell into an entirely pleasant routine of silence together. Never, again, awkward. We've had phone calls that are simply us just sitting there knowing that the other person is at the other end. And she sort of baffles me with this ability, because her house is always lively with five children inside.

Maybe part of this love of silence so ingrained in me is what it means. If you aren't awkwardly silent with someone, yet are silent with that person a lot, it tends to mean that the conversations you do have are more meaningful in some way. And a non-awkward silence implies a large amount of comfort with the person. You don't need to say anything. In some ways, it's almost telekinetic, because your thoughts can be at the same place without anyone needing to say it.

And why ruin a perfect moment by talking about it. You pull away from the experience when you do that. If you're looking at the stars lying in your significant other's arms, talking might just ruin the moment. Or perhaps, to pull away from something as obviously amazing and wonderful, simply the act of talking while watching a movie can ruin things and pull you out of what you're experiencing.

Silence is golden. You cannot contest that.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

PS: I met John Green! I made a video, and added some extra details in a post on my collab blog, which can be seen by clicking here.