Hello Miss Niki Wells. Here begins your embarrassment... or perhaps not. Honestly I hadn't done THAT much planning when I asked you if you were okay with embarrassment. I just figured it would be nice to work some in. I'M MEAN LIKE THAT. Whut? xD
Here's the deal Niki Wells. I have known you since sixth grade. We are of like intelligences, we have both completed the RESIDENTIAL NEIGHBORHOOD, and 20 MPH achievements. We are also both quiet people. You also live an hour away from me, which somehow seems to turn into five zillion hours away when I need a nerdy friend (although twitter, thankfully, does converge the distance rather well - sidebar: was converge the right word?).
With this in mind, I believe it is TIME to AMP UP our friendship to new LEVELS.
I have rewritten the lyrics to a song, in order to exemplify what this amping up entails. (I however, will refuse to actually sing, because no one wants to hear that lol).
I'd read your blogs and I think they're so jokes
And now we're getting friendly with a couple twitter posts
I confess that I now live in your timezone
At least I don't have to watch Youtube alone
Even though tonight I've got
A date with my bookshelf
I'd much rather text and hug you
And nothing else
Won't you be in nerdfighter friendlike with me?
Won't you stay up all night online with me?
We could go write nerdfighternotes in the library
Too bad you live an hour from me
Over a friendly lunch, we'd blurb some lolbooks
Blenderize our meals while other tables give us dirty looks
Do a reading of "Pooh Gets Stuck" in my pants
If we could hang out IRL, I'd do my happy dance
Even though tonight I've got
A date with my bookshelf
I'd much rather text and hug you
...Maybe something else [insert exaggerated suggestive wink]
Won't you be in nerdfighter friendlike with me?
Won't you stay up all night online with me?
We'd happy dance to music that's royalty free
Too bad you live an hour from me
Even though tonight I've got
A date with my bookshelf
I'd much rather text and hug you
...And something else [like play video games? hehe]
Won't you be in nerdfighter friendlike with me?
Too bad you live an hour from me
Anyways, the basic heads and tails of this, is will you go to Prom with me? I need a friend to go with, and I swear it feels like I never get to hang out with you. It's May 7th (the day after the AP Euro test, YAY!) I will pay for our tickets, we can hang out beforehand and do whatever weird things you are supposed to do before prom. It's ON A BOAT in Chicago, which would be cool. And according to one of the boys in my French class, the only reason he is going is the food. Plus we could sneak in gameboys and be REBELS xD
So Miss Niki Wells, will you be my nerdfighter friendlike date to Prom?
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
PS: Unless your school calendar doesn't list sports on it, there should be NO conflicts on your end from school.
PPS: I wanted to use your full name because it felt more dramatic... that's really the only reason why haha.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
BEDA day three
I need to figure out how to steal the bookshelf from downstairs.
I mean, my bookshelf isn't full yet. But it will be full soon, and if I have to start putting my books into a box again... It will not be pretty. I also need to start making a contingency plan for my books while I'm in college (which I'm aware is still a year and a half away). I know I can't bring all of them, but I will doing my damned best to get all the ones I like to reread... which is almost all of them. People don't understand why I buy books, but it's so obvious, I actually REREAD them.
I should mention one of the concerns I was thinking about while showering today (you're a liar if the shower isn't one of the greatest places of inspiration for you). I don't know about y'all, but really, I'm not interesting enough to do all BEDA talking about myself... Which is mostly why I did that post yesterday, because realistically, all I did was surf the internet, read more of the Hunger games (reread), and make brownies... So expect more strange posts like yesterday.
Speaking of showering, my dog has taken to running up the stairs the moment I turn the shower off, so that when I leave the bathroom, she's right at the door. And then she tries to come into my room... Dogs are silly.
I got to try out the 3DS at a Best Buy while on our college road trip. It's pretty freaky, but it's hard to stay in range of the 3D unless you turn it down a bit.
I don't want to go to school tomorrow. Spring break has been glorious. I've been reading about things that interest me on the internet... Like dystopias, and segways! And after all the stress that just got dumped with school in March, well... *begins countdown to summer* Oh good god, 57 days! AUGHALKSDNFLADKNV!!
Two months and done, two months and done...
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
I mean, my bookshelf isn't full yet. But it will be full soon, and if I have to start putting my books into a box again... It will not be pretty. I also need to start making a contingency plan for my books while I'm in college (which I'm aware is still a year and a half away). I know I can't bring all of them, but I will doing my damned best to get all the ones I like to reread... which is almost all of them. People don't understand why I buy books, but it's so obvious, I actually REREAD them.
I should mention one of the concerns I was thinking about while showering today (you're a liar if the shower isn't one of the greatest places of inspiration for you). I don't know about y'all, but really, I'm not interesting enough to do all BEDA talking about myself... Which is mostly why I did that post yesterday, because realistically, all I did was surf the internet, read more of the Hunger games (reread), and make brownies... So expect more strange posts like yesterday.
Speaking of showering, my dog has taken to running up the stairs the moment I turn the shower off, so that when I leave the bathroom, she's right at the door. And then she tries to come into my room... Dogs are silly.
I got to try out the 3DS at a Best Buy while on our college road trip. It's pretty freaky, but it's hard to stay in range of the 3D unless you turn it down a bit.
I don't want to go to school tomorrow. Spring break has been glorious. I've been reading about things that interest me on the internet... Like dystopias, and segways! And after all the stress that just got dumped with school in March, well... *begins countdown to summer* Oh good god, 57 days! AUGHALKSDNFLADKNV!!
Two months and done, two months and done...
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
Saturday, April 2, 2011
BEDA day two
Today I am going to introduce (or if you were ever one to do an archive binge, reintroduce) you to the intricacies of my mind. Enjoy!
Today Jess's mind is currently thinking in third person.
It's an exciting festival at the town square in Jess Head Land, where various characters have come to join in the festivities. The obvious make an appearance, with the lazy one, the creative one, and the one actually in control. The less obvious who attend are the Golden and Silver trio of Harry Potter (Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny, Luna), Katniss Everdeen, River Tam, the Bishop Boys (a la Fringe), and Mario.
Now you might consider that this is not enough people to create a festival, and right you would be. A near hundred different characters residing in Jess Head Land attend, but the most prominent for the moment would be those listed.
Walter Bishop is deep in discussion with Hermione Granger, trying to get every bit of knowledge about magic that he can. Ron sits with them, utterly bored out of his witts, but it is a true sign of how much he loves Hermione that he does not leave her side. The entirety of the silver trio is involved in a large discussion with the lazy one, the creative one, and the one actually in control. Neville appears to be weary of how much the creative one, and Luna have taken to each other, but says nothing, as his love is unrequited. Katniss Everdeen has just left a conversation with River Tam (River Tam having decided that it would be more fun to just start dancing than keep talking for so long), and is now joining in on a conversation with Harry, Mario, and Peter Bishop.
A slower song comes on, and dynamics change. Harry spots Ginny and immediately excuses himself to pull her into his arms. Ron looks relieved as Hermione agrees the music is a good enough excuse to leave Walter Bishop. Neville appears to be about to ask Luna to dance, but thinks better of it. Stupid boy. Katniss decides Neville could use a picker upper, and asks him to dance instead. Neville humbly accepts.
In the midst of all this, however, the most entertaining thing has just begun. River Tam is still delightedly dancing at a fast pace despite the slow tempo to the music. Luna has also began dancing in an outrageous fashion and has decided to join up with River. Their dancing requires much of the floor space, and seems to knock over all in its path. Logically, the creative one joins, adding spice and pazzaz to it all, somehow making it the most outrageous and beautiful thing in the world.
As this all continues, the lazy one has already found a seat at a booth, being entirely unwilling to set foot on the dance floor. He is soon joined by the one actually in control, the Bishop boys, and Mario. They share a round of drinks, and Walter sneaks a mushroom to Mario, and they both become gleefully high.
Then, River Tam gets activated and takes all the Mother fuckers out.
The end.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
PS: Perhaps I haven't mentioned this before, but I most definitely have a thing for Summer Glau (River Tam). I mean really, who doesn't have a thing for Summer Glau? *stares with greed in a creepy fashion*
PPS: With the exception of Mario and the Bishop Boys, all characters involved in this production have been heavily involved with my actions today, thus their making it into the festival as prominent characters.
PPS: THAT IS ALL
Today Jess's mind is currently thinking in third person.
It's an exciting festival at the town square in Jess Head Land, where various characters have come to join in the festivities. The obvious make an appearance, with the lazy one, the creative one, and the one actually in control. The less obvious who attend are the Golden and Silver trio of Harry Potter (Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny, Luna), Katniss Everdeen, River Tam, the Bishop Boys (a la Fringe), and Mario.
Now you might consider that this is not enough people to create a festival, and right you would be. A near hundred different characters residing in Jess Head Land attend, but the most prominent for the moment would be those listed.
Walter Bishop is deep in discussion with Hermione Granger, trying to get every bit of knowledge about magic that he can. Ron sits with them, utterly bored out of his witts, but it is a true sign of how much he loves Hermione that he does not leave her side. The entirety of the silver trio is involved in a large discussion with the lazy one, the creative one, and the one actually in control. Neville appears to be weary of how much the creative one, and Luna have taken to each other, but says nothing, as his love is unrequited. Katniss Everdeen has just left a conversation with River Tam (River Tam having decided that it would be more fun to just start dancing than keep talking for so long), and is now joining in on a conversation with Harry, Mario, and Peter Bishop.
A slower song comes on, and dynamics change. Harry spots Ginny and immediately excuses himself to pull her into his arms. Ron looks relieved as Hermione agrees the music is a good enough excuse to leave Walter Bishop. Neville appears to be about to ask Luna to dance, but thinks better of it. Stupid boy. Katniss decides Neville could use a picker upper, and asks him to dance instead. Neville humbly accepts.
In the midst of all this, however, the most entertaining thing has just begun. River Tam is still delightedly dancing at a fast pace despite the slow tempo to the music. Luna has also began dancing in an outrageous fashion and has decided to join up with River. Their dancing requires much of the floor space, and seems to knock over all in its path. Logically, the creative one joins, adding spice and pazzaz to it all, somehow making it the most outrageous and beautiful thing in the world.
As this all continues, the lazy one has already found a seat at a booth, being entirely unwilling to set foot on the dance floor. He is soon joined by the one actually in control, the Bishop boys, and Mario. They share a round of drinks, and Walter sneaks a mushroom to Mario, and they both become gleefully high.
Then, River Tam gets activated and takes all the Mother fuckers out.
The end.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
PS: Perhaps I haven't mentioned this before, but I most definitely have a thing for Summer Glau (River Tam). I mean really, who doesn't have a thing for Summer Glau? *stares with greed in a creepy fashion*
PPS: With the exception of Mario and the Bishop Boys, all characters involved in this production have been heavily involved with my actions today, thus their making it into the festival as prominent characters.
PPS: THAT IS ALL
Friday, April 1, 2011
What Do You Mean You Didn't Know I Am Doing BEDA?
Of course I'm doing BEDA!
What else did you think I was going to do? Be productive and do my homework, study for the AP tests, and spend time on facebook???
Well actually I should probably do those as well... Although the facebook I can lay off a bit.
I remember the last time I did BEDA I sort of gave up towards the end. And quite frankly, knowing me, there is a good chance of this happening again.
Well we'll just see.
I just got back from visiting a whole bunch of colleges. Well three, but still, being with my dad all day, visiting schools and talking about schools, it gets exhausting and begins to feel like you've visited twelve schools instead of three.
I really liked Butler, but my dad went all money mad and decided that I NEED to go to U of I, because that is the only place that can be paid for fully with the GI Bill. Still, I'm the one signing the papers at the end of all of this, not him.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(That, my dears, is what is known as a segway)
After writing that parenthetical statement, I find myself really wanting to post a picture of a segway.
.
That's better =)
Right, so um, yeah, this has been my BEDA day one.
xD
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
PS: How many of you are doing BEDA this April? I MUST KNOW! (so that I check your pages daily! =])
Update: I just looked up BEDA in google. It came back with Binge Eating Disorder Association... Make of that what you will.
What else did you think I was going to do? Be productive and do my homework, study for the AP tests, and spend time on facebook???
Well actually I should probably do those as well... Although the facebook I can lay off a bit.
I remember the last time I did BEDA I sort of gave up towards the end. And quite frankly, knowing me, there is a good chance of this happening again.
Well we'll just see.
I just got back from visiting a whole bunch of colleges. Well three, but still, being with my dad all day, visiting schools and talking about schools, it gets exhausting and begins to feel like you've visited twelve schools instead of three.
I really liked Butler, but my dad went all money mad and decided that I NEED to go to U of I, because that is the only place that can be paid for fully with the GI Bill. Still, I'm the one signing the papers at the end of all of this, not him.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(That, my dears, is what is known as a segway)
After writing that parenthetical statement, I find myself really wanting to post a picture of a segway.
.
That's better =)
Right, so um, yeah, this has been my BEDA day one.
xD
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
PS: How many of you are doing BEDA this April? I MUST KNOW! (so that I check your pages daily! =])
Update: I just looked up BEDA in google. It came back with Binge Eating Disorder Association... Make of that what you will.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Who are..? What...? Obviously, I have no clue how to phrase the question.
So I'm just wondering today, did you all always want to be who you want to be now?
I guess that's a confusing question. I mean, are you the type of person you thought you'd be? Do you have the same aspirations you had when you were younger?
Because I was just thinking...
Well when I was growing up I was a bit of a procrastinator until 7th grade where I my lowest grade was 98% in Algebra I when I moved. But then I became a procrastinator again right when we moved, because it was so easy to do. I was always smart, but then I wanted to be smart in a different way. I didn't like that I wasn't seen as creative or athletic. I could do well on the pacer, and that was about it, and I liked the monkey bars, but that was it for athletics.
Once I started band I really loved it, but then I didn't think I was good. I caught up alright, having started a year after everyone else. And then circumstances just put me in harder bands, as far as I was concerned. For the half a year I was in choir, I managed to get a solo, but I wasn't too fussed about that. And now that I'm nearly an adult with this whole playing thing, I keep getting told that I'm good, and that I'm getting better, and doing things not really expected out of a tuba player like playing fast, or knowing my scales. But then I don't think that's a big deal. I screw up a lot. I think if I played the way I play on tuba on something comparable, I would be considered someone who sucks. It just doesn't make sense to me.
And then when I was younger my aspirations were to get into harvard and then that turned into juliard. I think that's a total laugh now, but I wonder what could have happened had I applied myself better. I mean I still doubt I could have ended up there... Really I'd just be a more frazzled and overworked version of myself who was still going to end up at the same place.
And then what I wanted to be. I wanted to be a teacher. I mean, at various points I had the extra aspiration of being an author, and at one rather insane (or perhaps simply young and naive) point I believed I could be the first woman president. I still like to write, I'm okay at it. I don't really have the stamina or ability to do it, and so it's more of a hobby - nothing I'd actually consider for a profession, because I would fail. Now I still want to be a teacher. It's firmly been a music teacher since about halfway through middle school, and this has morphed firmly into a band director, and if necessary I doubt I'd have issues teaching orchestra or choir once I know how and everything.
I mean, other than some personal growth and discovery, I haven't really changed. I'm still a smart procrastinator who could do better in school. I still lack confidence that I'm good, no matter what people keep telling me. I still want to be a teacher. The only real change is that I came to reality and gave myself a more achievable goal for my education.
So I ask you if you still are the you that you... were? Still an awkward question for phrasing... but yeah. I'm interested about how much we all are actually changing in our dreams and basic identities. I understand that in general we're becoming better people, but are we really changing otherwise?
I just don't know.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
PS: Anne, that sucks you're missing prom. But honestly if I had that option I would pick it before prom in a heartbeat. My issue is more that I'm spending time with a vast amount of people that I don't know or care about, spending money I don't need to spend, ect. but then I don't really want to miss out on anything if it's actually important.
Oh, and my school has just about the most insane system in the world for bringing anybody not from your school.
I guess that's a confusing question. I mean, are you the type of person you thought you'd be? Do you have the same aspirations you had when you were younger?
Because I was just thinking...
Well when I was growing up I was a bit of a procrastinator until 7th grade where I my lowest grade was 98% in Algebra I when I moved. But then I became a procrastinator again right when we moved, because it was so easy to do. I was always smart, but then I wanted to be smart in a different way. I didn't like that I wasn't seen as creative or athletic. I could do well on the pacer, and that was about it, and I liked the monkey bars, but that was it for athletics.
Once I started band I really loved it, but then I didn't think I was good. I caught up alright, having started a year after everyone else. And then circumstances just put me in harder bands, as far as I was concerned. For the half a year I was in choir, I managed to get a solo, but I wasn't too fussed about that. And now that I'm nearly an adult with this whole playing thing, I keep getting told that I'm good, and that I'm getting better, and doing things not really expected out of a tuba player like playing fast, or knowing my scales. But then I don't think that's a big deal. I screw up a lot. I think if I played the way I play on tuba on something comparable, I would be considered someone who sucks. It just doesn't make sense to me.
And then when I was younger my aspirations were to get into harvard and then that turned into juliard. I think that's a total laugh now, but I wonder what could have happened had I applied myself better. I mean I still doubt I could have ended up there... Really I'd just be a more frazzled and overworked version of myself who was still going to end up at the same place.
And then what I wanted to be. I wanted to be a teacher. I mean, at various points I had the extra aspiration of being an author, and at one rather insane (or perhaps simply young and naive) point I believed I could be the first woman president. I still like to write, I'm okay at it. I don't really have the stamina or ability to do it, and so it's more of a hobby - nothing I'd actually consider for a profession, because I would fail. Now I still want to be a teacher. It's firmly been a music teacher since about halfway through middle school, and this has morphed firmly into a band director, and if necessary I doubt I'd have issues teaching orchestra or choir once I know how and everything.
I mean, other than some personal growth and discovery, I haven't really changed. I'm still a smart procrastinator who could do better in school. I still lack confidence that I'm good, no matter what people keep telling me. I still want to be a teacher. The only real change is that I came to reality and gave myself a more achievable goal for my education.
So I ask you if you still are the you that you... were? Still an awkward question for phrasing... but yeah. I'm interested about how much we all are actually changing in our dreams and basic identities. I understand that in general we're becoming better people, but are we really changing otherwise?
I just don't know.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
PS: Anne, that sucks you're missing prom. But honestly if I had that option I would pick it before prom in a heartbeat. My issue is more that I'm spending time with a vast amount of people that I don't know or care about, spending money I don't need to spend, ect. but then I don't really want to miss out on anything if it's actually important.
Oh, and my school has just about the most insane system in the world for bringing anybody not from your school.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
To Make Up For Yesterday...
I feel like I kind of need to make up for yesterday. First post in almost a month, and I yell at the world. That's not how you keep friends =)
It's going to be 60 degrees tomorrow. Sixty glorious degrees. I already have my outfit planned for this warmth. And I'll probably make the effort with my hair too. Maybe if I don't have too much homework I can have someone over tomorrow. My dad always comes home late, and my mom is going to be coming home late too, so I'm gonna order pizza and just relax. I haven't had the house to myself in so long.
And bubbles. There will be bubbles. No question.
I've been reading through Harry Potter again. I started with the fourth book this time round. I love the sixth so much though, and I just started it.
I'm kind of waking up with how warm it is lately. And my mind is exploding. I have plot bunnies left and right. Day dreams of summer. I keep craving ice cream. I keep wishing I had a camera because my school was basically built on a swamp, and it gives it the most beautiful outdoors I've had for a campus.
The only real downside to spring is that I have to start taking Claritin again. I've only ever gotten allergies in Illinois, but we're back, so here it goes again. I'm also getting a hair cut this weekend (It's gotten rather long since I cut it to my shoulders, so I think I'll be doing that, but with layers this time, and better bangs), and new glasses. I should have gotten new glasses two years ago, so I'm well overdue. My lenses are actually in the process of deteriorating, which really doesn't help with seeing.
Prom is in two months. It's on a boat. I just... a boat? *sigh* You read the itinerary and you can clearly understand why they're doing it though. They don't want all the partying to happen. They literally have us from about 4:30 pm to 1:00 am. I'm not really sure if I'm gonna go. I don't really have anyone to go with. But then it's on a boat, and I would love that so much (side bar: there needs to be a betting pool on how many people will declare they are on a boat, declare themselves king of the world, and how many will barf. Oh, and can't forget the pregnancies to tally up!). Right now I'm thinking I might weigh down Niki, because I think two months is plenty of notice, and I can't really think that bringing a froshie would be... explainable? I'm not really sure how else to phrase that...
Speaking of dates, this boy in my social sphere is literally asking out every girl he knows. Totally trying to make his ex jealous, but I can't wait till he gets to me, cuz I feel like telling him off for it. Froshie boys are so dumb.
Oh, and in my absence I wrote a fringe fanfic which can be found here. Whenever I don't write anything for a while, I forget that people actually like what I write and get surprised when there are about ten reviews xD It's just something small that makes me smiley.
Feeling better
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
PS: I'm currently looking up the link for that story, but in the process I noticed that it is my third most reviewed, third most read and my most favorited story. =)
It's going to be 60 degrees tomorrow. Sixty glorious degrees. I already have my outfit planned for this warmth. And I'll probably make the effort with my hair too. Maybe if I don't have too much homework I can have someone over tomorrow. My dad always comes home late, and my mom is going to be coming home late too, so I'm gonna order pizza and just relax. I haven't had the house to myself in so long.
And bubbles. There will be bubbles. No question.
I've been reading through Harry Potter again. I started with the fourth book this time round. I love the sixth so much though, and I just started it.
I'm kind of waking up with how warm it is lately. And my mind is exploding. I have plot bunnies left and right. Day dreams of summer. I keep craving ice cream. I keep wishing I had a camera because my school was basically built on a swamp, and it gives it the most beautiful outdoors I've had for a campus.
The only real downside to spring is that I have to start taking Claritin again. I've only ever gotten allergies in Illinois, but we're back, so here it goes again. I'm also getting a hair cut this weekend (It's gotten rather long since I cut it to my shoulders, so I think I'll be doing that, but with layers this time, and better bangs), and new glasses. I should have gotten new glasses two years ago, so I'm well overdue. My lenses are actually in the process of deteriorating, which really doesn't help with seeing.
Prom is in two months. It's on a boat. I just... a boat? *sigh* You read the itinerary and you can clearly understand why they're doing it though. They don't want all the partying to happen. They literally have us from about 4:30 pm to 1:00 am. I'm not really sure if I'm gonna go. I don't really have anyone to go with. But then it's on a boat, and I would love that so much (side bar: there needs to be a betting pool on how many people will declare they are on a boat, declare themselves king of the world, and how many will barf. Oh, and can't forget the pregnancies to tally up!). Right now I'm thinking I might weigh down Niki, because I think two months is plenty of notice, and I can't really think that bringing a froshie would be... explainable? I'm not really sure how else to phrase that...
Speaking of dates, this boy in my social sphere is literally asking out every girl he knows. Totally trying to make his ex jealous, but I can't wait till he gets to me, cuz I feel like telling him off for it. Froshie boys are so dumb.
Oh, and in my absence I wrote a fringe fanfic which can be found here. Whenever I don't write anything for a while, I forget that people actually like what I write and get surprised when there are about ten reviews xD It's just something small that makes me smiley.
Feeling better
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
PS: I'm currently looking up the link for that story, but in the process I noticed that it is my third most reviewed, third most read and my most favorited story. =)
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
s t r e s s
Ok, I've been downright stressed for weeks now. My hair is actually going gray! (Yes, that is correct, at the age of 16, there has been gray hair found on my noggin. It's depressing, now go away.) I'm just... Ugh. I'm not sure I could even begin to describe it.
I've cried in a few classes these past few weeks.
By eighth hour, I have no energy left, but I do my homework anyways, because better then than when I get home.
I've gained weight, and I think it's mostly because I keep telling myself if I let myself have a little junk food I will feel better.
I stared out a window for five minutes during math today. I basically wanted to jump out.
I have a large amount of tension in my back and neck and shoulders.
I sprained, and have since healed, my wrist, because I was writing too much.
With what I'm pretty sure is bronchitis, I still went to a study session with my friend for a history test.
I'm nauseous so much. Although that might be the bronchitis, because it acts up when I cough.
Usually my school day goes
1st) scramble to finish French homework, but then feel completely fine.
2nd) want to throw things at everyone and scream for them to shut up.
3rd) this class either calms me down, or is the begining of me crying.
4th) my teacher has noticed that we're all basically the walking dead.
5th) favorite class, have trouble really enjoying it
6th) squeeze in lunch. Cookie usually helps. Start playing, get bored, frustrated.
7th) just no.
8th) try to relax. Fail. Write homework in planner, and begin frustration again.
I think the worst part is that the ACT is coming. I don't give a damn about it, because I've already gotten a really good score on the practice one, and it's more than enough to get into any school I want, but it's half to all of what we do in English. They keep bringing it up everywhere. I'm ignoring it as well as I can, because I don't care but somehow it makes me more frustrated and angry.
And then of course is the fact, that I am putting in at least 4x the energy I put in last year right now, yet I'm getting the same grades. Some of them are even worse. WHY HOW?
*EXPLICATIVES!!!!*
I felt a bit better today when I put in lego hp and crucio'd and avada kedavra'd some random people. Ate a little ice cream and had a sierra mist. Felt good.
Back to feeling horrible now.
I don't get it. I'm doing it all right. But it's not working.
I'm not depressed, I know what that feels like. This feels different. But just horrible all the same. Like I keep getting kicked while I'm down.
And tomorrow I get to wake up early even though it's a late start so I can write a French essay, go to school, come home to crawl under some homework, then go to lessons where I will be in trouble for not practicing. There is no time, I've had a horrible cough that makes it hard to breathe when I play.
Fuck just lay off WORLD!
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
I've cried in a few classes these past few weeks.
By eighth hour, I have no energy left, but I do my homework anyways, because better then than when I get home.
I've gained weight, and I think it's mostly because I keep telling myself if I let myself have a little junk food I will feel better.
I stared out a window for five minutes during math today. I basically wanted to jump out.
I have a large amount of tension in my back and neck and shoulders.
I sprained, and have since healed, my wrist, because I was writing too much.
With what I'm pretty sure is bronchitis, I still went to a study session with my friend for a history test.
I'm nauseous so much. Although that might be the bronchitis, because it acts up when I cough.
Usually my school day goes
1st) scramble to finish French homework, but then feel completely fine.
2nd) want to throw things at everyone and scream for them to shut up.
3rd) this class either calms me down, or is the begining of me crying.
4th) my teacher has noticed that we're all basically the walking dead.
5th) favorite class, have trouble really enjoying it
6th) squeeze in lunch. Cookie usually helps. Start playing, get bored, frustrated.
7th) just no.
8th) try to relax. Fail. Write homework in planner, and begin frustration again.
I think the worst part is that the ACT is coming. I don't give a damn about it, because I've already gotten a really good score on the practice one, and it's more than enough to get into any school I want, but it's half to all of what we do in English. They keep bringing it up everywhere. I'm ignoring it as well as I can, because I don't care but somehow it makes me more frustrated and angry.
And then of course is the fact, that I am putting in at least 4x the energy I put in last year right now, yet I'm getting the same grades. Some of them are even worse. WHY HOW?
*EXPLICATIVES!!!!*
I felt a bit better today when I put in lego hp and crucio'd and avada kedavra'd some random people. Ate a little ice cream and had a sierra mist. Felt good.
Back to feeling horrible now.
I don't get it. I'm doing it all right. But it's not working.
I'm not depressed, I know what that feels like. This feels different. But just horrible all the same. Like I keep getting kicked while I'm down.
And tomorrow I get to wake up early even though it's a late start so I can write a French essay, go to school, come home to crawl under some homework, then go to lessons where I will be in trouble for not practicing. There is no time, I've had a horrible cough that makes it hard to breathe when I play.
Fuck just lay off WORLD!
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek
