Choices

Gah, I said I'd post every day this weekend.

I'm sort of at that point of tired where you feel heavy. But my mind is inherently telling me that I'm not going to be able to sleep yet. And I know it's right, because my room is an oven right now. I liked fall better when it was cold >_<

My mind is all in a tizzy, just going this-a-way and that-a-way. It's thinking about what choices mean. I mostly blame this on a lot of reading of a blog about Fringe today. And then of course watching some vlogbrothers videos that discussed choices, and having some twitter people speak of it today. And then having some choices come up for myself. Choices are everywhere today.

It's not exactly like I have an opinion of choices in general and their implications. More of just a viewpoint of awe that I can't quite explain. Choices make everything the way it is, but in the end perhaps these choices are predestined. Or maybe one simplistic choice to kick a rock could lead to a future Apocalypse. Or maybe kicking that rock will have no effect on the world ever again. The rock will simply continue to exist without any impact ever again.

Then there is that profound feeling of inability to control things through any choice you make. I've been missing my friends a lot lately. And there isn't much I can do about it. We talk of course, but it's not the same as real person contact, and short of saving every penny I get towards plane tickets there isn't much I can do. And most of my allowance goes towards eating lunch, and getting my friends presents for birthdays, and Christmas, and just because I know they would love something, and it's the only way I can think of sharing it with them. I am such a sap. And then things have come up lately, like being caught up on some gossip, that caused me to realize how much things are changing without me. I mean, one of my friends has even seemed to have flipped their entire set of core values and I have no clue how it happened.

I really just want to go to sleep. My room is so damn warm.
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

PS: Nerdfighter meet up tomorrow! *uber excited*