Oh Wow

I'm totally getting that feeling of falling. That wonderful, amazing, and terrifying feeling of falling. And I've never had it like this before. Oh wow.

I'm not gonna go anymore specific on that.

Other topics!

I'm trying to work on this whole motivation thing. I love being online and doing online things, but then I don't put that much effort into it. I think I could be semi-viable internet wise if I worked on that. I mean, I like making vlogs, and blogs, and writing fanfiction, and twittering, but it's all disconnected, and my effort is all off. One day I'll start a fanfiction with a ton of glorious plans, and never do anything more than write and post that first chapter. I got a camera for my birthday, and I've edited and posted a few sporadic vlogs, but that's not really doing anything. On this blog, I post a fair amount, but then it's usually just a life update, and I know I have so much more to talk about. I'm bright, and spirited, and I know I can do better. Twittering, I do it, none of my friends do it excluding one, so realistically I should make it a place to maintain friendships I make with people I meet online, but instead I use it to stalk Maureen Johnson. Oh yeah.

Also, motivation issues elsewhere in my life. History, I just don't care about European history now that I'm actually taking it, and I wish that I hadn't decided to take it. I want to either be a writer or a high school band director (I know this will work best if I get the degree in music education, and just keep writing). I have less than a year and a half to get ready for auditions, so I should really be practicing at least an hour a day, probably two if I really want to be competitive, and I do. Writing, I have two stories relatively planned, in my head, ready to go. One I sat down maybe three times to write spanning from an hour to three hours, and have slightly above 2,000 words on, but I really could have more. The other story hasn't even touched (e?)paper yet. I wanna be more fit, and decide I'd prefer that extra half hour of sleep.

I don't know how to get motivated at all. I always start things and never finish them. I know what I'm good at, and I don't work to get better. The lazy get left behind. I am the lazy.

This. Needs. To. Stop.

However, I am weak, or at least not good. I need help with this. Serious help, or I will get nowhere. So I'm asking for advice, and to be annoying and stuff if you can for me, because that would be amazingly helpful.

Also, to start on this internet connection thing: http://twitter.com/oceansurferg That is my twitter. Idk if you can do a message when you request to follow, but if not then just somehow get the word "yodel" across to me within a week or I will delete you.

Oh, and in less substantial news. I have been reading a lot. School gives me a lot of time to do that (particularly physics where I am so bored it's sad). But I need to recommend the book If I Stay by Gayle Forman for anyone musical in any way. If you sing, or rock out, or play the tuba ( =] ) or just really love and are amazed by music, this is an absolutely tragic book I want you to read. It speaks to the souls of music folk (nerd points if you get the reference).

I suppose this is a brownie point towards better blogging?
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

PS: Kaleidoscope Heart by Sara Bareilles is coming out tomorrow, and I probably won't be able to buy the cd until the begining of october, but I am so excited. I've been listening to King of Anything over and over again in preparation.