BEDA day thirteen

Today was one of those days that was just horrible, yet somehow wonderful at the same time.

First and foremost, I really need to say that I have awesome friends. Truly amazing wonderful friends. They're the type of friends who make themselves nearly late to class for your sake, or hound you with a hug you weren't expecting at all, or talk about how they would have done way worse in your situation. These are the friends I love.

Sometimes I don't think I convey how much I love my friends. I have gotten into all sorts of messy spats with people, but the ones that last are just... I'd basically do anything for my friends. I feel like just for making me giggle every day, or give me a person to hug, or talk to, or print leadership applications... well they deserve the world.

Now why my day was down the shitter.

I still am keeping with my whole, I will not go into details about why I really don't like my history teacher until I'm done with his class, because one, that is a huge mess of a thing to get into and two, I am still taking his class, and I must grudgingly respect that.

Anyways, my history teachers passed back essays. Not everyone's essays, but mine was in the slush pile, and I got mine back. At first I saw that I got a two. I didn't think clearly and my mind went to two out of nine, which is how AP essays are graded. But then I decided to turn it over, and I realized he hadn't GRADED three of my essays, and that grade was a 2/35. I searched through the stapled packet, and lo and behold, three of my essays were missing. I went up to him, told him what he did, and he said he didn't have it.

Just saying that much is placing blame on me. He didn't say first that he would check, he said that afterwards, by the time that I'd started crying. I woke up at THREE in the morning to write those three essays after having taken a practice AP English test the day before, which included three other essays that I wrote! Yes, maybe I don't turn in things sometimes, and I haven't shown up for any of the morning reviews for the AP exam (I barely get enough sleep as it is), but I have not ONCE ever claimed that he didn't grade something I "turned in". I man up to my fuck ups, which I think is a lot more than can be said for him at that moment. I know that I don't turn stuff in. I carry that stuff with me, and don't try and scapegoat out of it. I may be a crappy student, but I'm a good person!

Then he lets me just cry at my desk for five minutes. We had a DBQ outline to do after that with the last twenty minutes, and when I first got it, I was SO tempted to rip it up, throw it in the trash and walk out. But no, I did it, and I didn't cuss him out in my outline like I wanted after that either. I did the goddam DBQ, and he still doesn't at the very least CHECK for my paper. No, not until I turn in my stupid outline, and he tells me to look through my stuff, does he look through the stack. And then he says that he doesn't have it again.

Admittedly, this is where I look bad, and I'm not denying it. I'm pretty sure I dropped an F bomb while telling my friends what was going on when the bell rang. And I was loud and angry and crying and there were Freshmen walking in. And then I go up to my teacher, tell him that I really don't have it but I TURNED IT IN.

Then he finds it. He stapled it to someone else's things.

At this point I just walked out.

My physics teacher let me just sit there with my head on the desk while everyone was being productive. So props to her. A lot of people complain about her, but I think she's a good teacher and people are just judging her based on an unfair grading scale made by the science department, and the fact that they aren't learning because they aren't paying attention. And I'd pretty much figured out what we were doing yesterday, so it's not an issue for me either that I wasn't doing anything.

Reasons today would have been wonderful otherwise:

1. One of those days where there is just enough learning mixed with relaxation.
2. I convinced my health teacher to let me work on other things while there was group project work time (I am a singleton). I worked on math, not because it was due anytime soon, but because I wanted to do it.
3. Pizza party during math. I got three slices, and saved the money I would have had to spend on lunch =)
4. To finish off all involving math (although this came much later than 3rd period), I finished my math packet entirely after school, so that means tomorrow I can study for my history test.
5. In English we kept talking about the book One Writer's Beginning by Eudora Welty, which I am completely enjoying.
6. I got to sit next to Rachael during concert band.
7. We got a lot of work done during honors band.
8. We have "made a breakthrough" in my private lesson's stylistically. It was kind of freaking epic awesomesauce =)
9. I played DDR to curve my frustrations. Will probably do so tomorrow. So I guess I'm starting to work on getting rid of all that stress fat I've gained? (which is actually about ten pounds scarily enough. Food needs to stop being so good).
10. TOMORROW is my first day of drum major clinics. Je suis trop excitee!

Oh, and 11) is of course my friends, but they were covered at the begining, weren't they?
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek