BEDiJ day 16

More of the same I suppose.

I'm just tired, and I just spent a half hour trying to get my dog to stop spazzing and trying to get through my door. I watched more secret life, I made dinner...

I'm just thinking a lot I suppose. It's a bit depressing though, stuff I usually think about, like how I miss people and everyone is growing up, and it all just seems crazy.

I mean, if my life goes according to my plans, I'll be moving to Montana in five years. Not many people with certainty say they want to move to Montana, you know?

I think I just want roots of some sort. I mean, I have roots, but I've been moved so often that the roots only have time enough to grow to a point that it hurts when they must be broken so I can be moved and go grow roots elsewhere.

But I really don't want roots here. There's nothing to do here. People in general just don't get along with me the way I wish they would. Nobody around here really understands how great of opportunities they are given here. They take it for granted, and I just don't think I ever could. And the landscape is dull, the city is rather uninteresting. There are no giant bodies of water nearby with real beaches. People don't just go to the beach here. People don't just get called up and agree to go somewhere.

I miss the bus. Hawaii has the most marvelous bus system, and there are sidewalks everywhere. When I ride my bike to my lessons, I nearly get run over by a lot of cars. All I can keep thinking is "what if there were side walks around here, or a bus". There also aren't a lot of crosswalks. Not anywhere useful anyways.

And I think worst of all, I hate that my best friend is about 1000 miles away. She knows who she is. I miss her. Can't wait to see her. But then she'll just be gone again. Really, I've never been able to talk to someone as much as I can talk to her... Okay, exception made for my 2nd boyfriend, but that's a whole different issue, and doesn't really matter.

I'm tired. It's 11:11. I just made my wish.

Goodnight
~Jess the Nerdfighting BandGeek

PS: Wanna add me as a friend on facebook? My full first name is Jessamyn, and there's a sandwich stuffed in my face in my profile picture.